This time I can not resist one of the most classic of the classics to dreamcast. The dream director would be Joss Whedon since his version of Much Ado About Nothing was so fabulous.
Katherine Minola- Ruth Negga
Ruth is the most luminous talent that I have seen in a while. My love of her take on Tulip in AMC’s Preacher is well documented, and I look forward to her movie Loving as well as anything else she appears in.
Petruchio- Jason Statham
Jason is the perfect match for Ruth. He has a brilliance with comedy and a very Petruchio earthiness. It would be an intense connection, and I love it.
Bianca Minola- Imogen Poots
Imogen and Ruth would play off each other so well, I can’t even. Plus, Boyega and her would be a very interesting pair.
Lucentio- John Boyega
Another actor I want to see in everything, including hosting Saturday Night Live. Still hopeful that they add him this season:) Boyega is so the man to play a gallant romantic lead in the Shakespeare universe.
Tranio- Ray Santiago
Ray has been killing it in Ash vs Evil Dead, and he has proven to be the best back up that you can have.
Baptisa Minola- John Hannah
Hilarious, Scotsman, and actor of Badassness. The father of Kate and Bianca is sometimes the ineffective ringleader, and sometimes a part of the chaos.
Hortensio– Paul Rudd
Because why not?
Gremio- Dylan Moran
Because I want him to play and plot with Paul Rudd. I want it bad.
My Christmas Movie favorites have been pretty solidified over the years, with a new one sneaking in rarely. These are my top 5, and they are laden with nostalgia that pairs well with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and holiday treats.
1. Desk Set
Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy star in my Reference Library Christmas Heaven. This is my favorite for so many reasons, but mostly for how much I want to be Katharine in this movie. #goals
2. Bachelor Mother
Ginger Rogers is a department store holiday worker who comes across a random baby on a doorstep and can convince no one that she is not actually the mother. Since she is unmarried in the 1930s, their reactions of being helpful and doing everything they can to support her with the baby add even more heart to this Christmas Romantic Comedy pick.
3. The Muppet Christmas Carol
This is my favorite Muppet movie, bar none. Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat are the perfect narrators and Michael Caine is THE ultimate scrooge. It’s adorable and scary and is even a freaking musical. Love. It.
P.S. The When Love is Gone song has been removed from newer American versions of this movie, and that is totally unacceptable.
4. Die Hard
It’s funny when every year articles come out defending Die Hard’s status as a Christmas film. I have never seen anyone argue that it is not one, so ya’ll are just arguing with something non-existent. Unless a lot of people have a stuffy grandma that’s like “No, we can’t be having that kind of 80s badass naughtiness as a holiday classic!” If so, please tape that conversation and share cause that would be super adorable. However, I feel that most grandmas are like mine, totally up for wine and Die Hard. Old ladies are awesome.
5. The Night Before
A newer addition to my must list of the season, and almost too hilarious. Like, I tried to re-watch this on a plane and had to stop cause I could not control my laugh volume. The tale is relatively simple, but the characters and their bond are super freaking sweet. My absolute favorite bits are with Seth Rogan and Jillian Bell as husband and pregnant wife. They play them very real and loving, and I would love to see more with those two.
Playing Remake with one of my all time favorites, True Romance. Quentin Tarantino wrote the action/romance about a comic book shop worker and a new escort in the nineties. They have a crazy whirling romance with a happy ending. “You’re so cool.”
Clarence- Liev Schreiber
Liev can do some high class crazy eyes, and he can out Slater even Christian Slater. No matter what he does, no matter how far off the edge he goes, I still adore him. Liev is magic.
Alabama- Elizabeth Olsen
Elizabeth totally has the skills to go full on Alabama Worley, and make it her own. Plus I have the feeling her chemistry with Liev would be tremendous.
Dick Ritchie- Ken Marino
Ken is a master at bringing more to the best friend/goof roles.
Drexl- Alan Tudyk
There is no other that can take over for Gary Oldman. I would love to see Alan in a showdown with Liev:)
Clifford Worley- Brendan Gleeson
Brendan can face off against Vincenzo and play father to Clarence perfectly.
Vincenzo- Christian Slater
Yeah, I needed to pull Christian back in. He’s been killing it in Mr. Robot, and is more than capable of going Christopher Walken.
Producer- Patton Oswalt
The buyer for the mistakenly stolen case of cocaine, and maker of shit movies. Love it for Patton.
Elliot- Chris Gethard
Chris being number two to Patton Oswalt? Hell, yes.
Mentor Elvis- Timothy Olyphant
Timothy could so be imaginary Elvis.
Dick’s Roommate- Sam Riley
The small Brad Pitt role is well suited to Sam.
A good deal of the time, critics and I mesh fairly well in our film opinions. Well, my go-to critics at least. However, there are still a number of movies that I adore completely that seem to baffle the critic consensus. (Or at least leave them cold.) The following movies occupy a coveted place in my video library no matter what the naysayers say:
1. Radioland Murders: 24% on Rotten Tomatoes
Long, long ago, a couple of decades past, George Lucas made the best Murder Mystery Comedy ever. It’s even set in a startup radio station in 1939 complete with live radio play and musical performances. Everything is brilliantly hilarious, from Christopher Lloyd as Zolton the special effects engineer searching for the perfect melon to simulate a head being smashed to Brian Benben hiding from the suspicious police as he tries to finish the final rewrites so that the show can go on! The entire story and cast is a beautiful warm hug of a clever and crazy bygone world. And I love it.
2. The Boss: 22% on Rotten Tomatoes
Based on the reviews, I had super low expectations for this movie. Color me surprised when I laughed my damn ass off! I know it’s not “high-brow”, complicated, or possessed of any subtle humor at all, but it’s such a perfect level of feminine power and naughtiness. The only thing that could elevate my enjoyment of this film is to include it in a double feature with Troop Beverly Hills, and nom on cocktails and girl scout cookies. Heaven. Oh, and Peter Dinklage as the evil Renault is adorable as shit. There’s a flashback to the 90s where he and Michelle (Melissa McCarthy) were co-workers and lovers before she “betrayed him”, and the epic styling and cocaine snorting (full on nineties Die Hard nostalgia style) going on deserves it’s own film. Prequel please?
3. The Watch: 17% on Rotten Tomatoes
So this is a sci-fi comedy set in a suburban town with a crown jewel of a Costco where a band of concerned citizens take on a hostile alien invasion. Everyone is adorable, Vince Vaughn is an amazing father, the cops are useless, and Richard Ayoade is my precious sunshine. I love to watch this while getting my list etc ready to do a Costco run, and I legitimately don’t understand why everyone does not enjoy this movie and do the same.
4. Doom: 19% on Rotten Tomatoes
Karl Urban is so badass, The Rock goes evil, Rosamund Pike introduced herself to me, and Soap from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is a fabulous gatekeeper. I never have played the Doom PC game, but the shooter perspective during part of the film reminded me of Wolfenstien, which I absolutely loved as a kid:) The critics hated on this hard, but I think it’s a solid futuristic action horror flick with a focus on the science of the potential of human genetics.
5. The Decoy Bride: 23% on Rotten Tomatoes
This is a totally cute and worthy Romantic Comedy with David Tennant, Kelly MacDonald, and Alice Eve. They play out a very mature love triangle where no one is the bad guy. All of the characters are genuine and working towards accepting themselves and what truly makes them happy. And David Tennant goes full on native wandering the beautiful Scottish island; it’s amazing.
1. Cabin in the Woods
All of the tropes of the usual Halloween movies amped up and tossed with some high class humor Whedon style.
2. Young Frankenstein
The classic that does not age and just gets better with time. I love Madeline Khan so much in all that she does, and this is her ultimate swagger role.
3. The Burbs
I spent years not knowing about the bliss that is The Burbs. Ever since I first saw this on Netflix, it has been my new Halloween corn and cheese delight.
4. What We Do in the Shadows
The brilliant New Zealanders behind this pull off a perfectly seasoned Halloween parody. All that crazy vampire lore built up over the years is the base on which these guys float and party.
Tremors is ridiculous and I love it. It’s a Horror/Western/Comedy and we need more of those. Hopefully with Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward as well.