Fantasy Fantastic Four Movie Casting

After finally breaking down and watching the new Fantastic Four trailer, my feelings of foreboding just got worse. Is it going to be a horrible movie? Probably. Could literally anyone have come up with better ideas that did not all scream “Hey, this is the worst idea ever, do not do this!” ? There is a more than fair chance. Thank you people with absolutely no instincts, for napalming a beloved franchise so that nothing will grow for at least ten years.

So yeah, I could not sleep until I came up with at least the first step of a great adaption: casting the crap out of it.

p.s. This has nothing to do with the cast of the movie, they actually seem like the strongest link of what made up the train-wreck of a preview. Casting is just the first step my brain builds when thinking of making an awesome film.

1. Regular Version

Add text(11)1Sue Storm / Invisible Woman: Alice Eve

Johnny Storm / The Torch: Jensen Ackles

Reed Richards / Mr. Fantastic: James D’arcy

Ben Grimm / The Thing: Steve Carell

Doctor Doom: Jemaine Clement

2. Younger Adult Version

Add text(12)1Sue Storm / Invisible Woman: Briga Heelan

Johnny Storm / The Torch: Pete Davidson

Reed Richards / Mr. Fantastic: Anton Yelchin

Ben Grimm / The Thing: Nicholas Hoult

Doctor Doom: Ryan Hansen

3. Musical Version

Add text(13)1Sue Storm / Invisible Woman: Megan Hilty

Johnny Storm / The Torch: Sean Hayes

Reed Richards / Mr. Fantastic: Timothy Omundson

Ben Grimm / The Thing: Damian Lewis

Doctor Doom: Neil Patrick Harris

My Favorite Thanksgiving Movies and TV Selections

There are a vast number of Christmas movies out there, but Thanksgiving does not tend to get the same amount of attention. I actually wanted to do a top ten list, but ended up having to change to top five because a top ten would have basically been all of them. This would be more sad if there were no truly awesome Thanksgiving films, but this is not the case. There is an amazing amount of holiday spirit and epic moments in these selections, so let’s give them some love:)

My Favorite Thanksgiving Movies:

It is my opinion that grumpy old men are the cutest things in this world, so I can not help but adore this movie the most. I mean, Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in a battle of wits lasting decades which finally blows up past the point of no return when Ann Margret moves into the neighborhood and bewitches them both? So cute!
Everyone knows this one, and with good reason. Steve Martin and John Candy, an accidental road trip, setbacks around every turn, and of course reluctant friendship. All that ’tis the season.
This is one not very well known, but that does not stop it from being a Thanksgiving classic! A young Robert Downey Jr. joins Holly Hunter, Anne Bancroft, and Claire Danes as members of a refreshingly real family dealing with the struggle of enduring a happy turkey day.
Wednesday Addams was totally my spirit animal as I was growing up. The scene where she takes down the Thanksgiving play just puts me in the holiday mood.
Yes, it is a Pauly Shore movie, but one that is actually good and incredibly sweet.

My Favorite Thanksgiving Television:

3rd Rock From the Sun
Bob’s Burgers
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Mike & Molly
Parks and Recreation
Saturday Night Live
South Park

Marry Me vs. Manhattan Love Story

There have been a number of so-called Romantic-Comedy television series scattered across the networks this season. As I sampled Manhattan Love Story, A to Z, Selfie, and Marry Me it became clear which ones felt well done and which felt like producers threw darts at a wall of things they think women like and then forced them together to create a Frankenstein monster of a show. The two that illustrate these two sides best to me are Marry Me and Manhattan Love Story.

Marry Me:

This show is so good in every way, and is what happens when a real life couple with writing talent and charisma make a show together. David Caspe and Casey Wilson were also the driving force behind Happy Endings, and they bring their talents full force all over Marry Me.
Annie and Jake have been dating for six years, and after a lovely Mexican vacation where she keeps waiting for him to finally propose, she snaps when they get home. However, it turns out that Jake was literally trying to propose to her on bended knee at the moment she explodes into her well deserved tirade, and she would have known if she had turned around instead of frantically searching for some Skinny Girl wine. This creates a bit of an awkward situation, especially since family and friends are in the next room for the surprise proposal. As the episode goes on, you get to see how right these two are together, and how strong their connection is. It is an honest and hilarious portrayal of the realities of being in a relationship. A huge reason for this working so well is that it is based on the real relationship of David and Casey, who are brave enough to put it out there, in all its’ majestic glory. Well done guys!

Verdict: Winner

Manhattan Love Story:

The hearing what the sexes are thinking thing would work better if I cared at all about these people. She wants purses to the point of almost humping each one that she sees on the street. He, of course, wants to have sex with all of the women that walk anywhere near him as the two leads pass each other in the same area of Manhattan. This is not a good start, and the pilot continues on in the same direction until I want to smash its’ fake ridiculous face with something.
There is nothing that redeems this show; no character that is funny, or real, or a well thought out representation of an actual person. This is everything that is wrong in the genre of romantic comedy. A needy, pushover, naive, will do anything you want for a slight hint of approval girl. She has an apparent need to get a cat, hiccups when she cries, and worst of all sees this guy as a romantic prospect. Sweetheart, you may be a lazy caricature of a woman, but you deserve better than this guy. He is an ass. Just because a guy has a goofy amount of stubble and is forced to say he is sorry to you does not stop him from being an ass. No. Big no thank you on this one.

Verdict: Loser

Exploring the Nerve Endings of My Funny Bone

As a modern lady, I face certain widely differing expectations regarding every aspect of my life. If I paid much attention to this anymore, I would always feel either too girly or not girly enough at all times. This is no way to live a full life, so I have pulled the plug and now simply endeavor to try to be honest with myself about what I actually enjoy, and what I want. Expectations be damned.

Humor is something so universal, yet men and women seem to have their own separate groups that they are meant to enjoy. Actually, men are supposed to watch comedy, and women have had a “women’s comedy” genre made for them. Why the separation? Why not have everything together, and just label the different brands of comedy? Family, Relationship, Sex, Parents, Men ( comedians of both genders talk about the sexes ), Women, Gross, Politics, Religion, The World, etc. There are Women comedians, and then there are Women’s Issues and Experiences comedians. These are different things, because a great deal of female comics talk mainly about the human experience, not just the solely woman’s perspective. In fact, a female comedian that only talks about dating men, waxing, and other various lady activities usually comes across as annoying to us. This actually makes me admire the very few that can take this brand of comedy and bring something fresh and honest to it, and basically do not end up coming off like a frivolous ditz. The rest of the lady comedians I admire because they take on the whole of life, and they grab it by the balls just as thoroughly and hilariously as a man. Here I lay out my top ten Stand-ups, Comedy Movies, and Comedy TV Shows. They encompass both genders, and they define my sense of what is funny. Not as a lady, but as a person who happens to be female.

Favorite Stand ups:

1. Patton Oswalt

patton_oswaltBrands of Comedy: Star Wars, Geek Life, Depression, Bit of Drugs, Sex, Growing Up, Marriage, Kids

2. Louie C.K.

Louis-ckBeing a Father, Marriage, Divorce, Kids, Sex, Food, Women, Idiots, Money

3. Dylan Moran

0910_dylan_h_208595tVery Irish, Matter of Fact, Family, Alcohol, Kids, Cake, Love, State of the World

4. Eddie Izzard

eddieizzard_1509403c
British, Executive Transvestite, Politics, History, Life, Religion, Star Wars

  5. Garfunkel and Oates

BN-EC794_oates_G_20140814161302Relationships, Sex, Work, Honest Observations of Life, Idiots, Funny Gorgeous Songs

6. Michael Ian Black

michael-ian-black-11-29-2011-5Well Phrased Structure, Frankenstein, Airplanes, Marriage, Kids, Lightweight Reactions to Alcohol, Friendly Sarcasm, Life, Being a Non-Traditional Man

7. Chelsea Handler

1350326674_chelsea-handler-290  Having a Vagina, Men, Alcohol, Traveling, Friends, Loyalty, Life, Dealing with Embarrassing Situations, Chunk, Owning her Experiences

8. John Mulaney

mulaney-picMatter of Fact, Being a Man-child, Law and Order, Impressions, Life, Friends, Growing Up, Relationships

9. Iliza Schlesinger

Iliza_small  Dealing with Girls as Friends, Dating, Sex, Going Out, Men, Snarky Observations of Life, Honest

 10. Aziz Ansari

azizansari2Geek Life, Reality of his Fame, Kanye West, Family, Women, Grand Showman

Favorite Comedy Movies:

1. The Heat

the-heat-1 A Lady Cop Meets a Lady FBI Agent and Becomes My Favorite Cop Buddy Movie Ever, Shit Happens That’s Why You Need a Partner That Has Your Back, Dealing With Bosses, Taking Down Criminals, Paperwork, Alcohol, Family

2. Hot Fuzz

hot-fuzzThe Middle of the British Cornetto Trilogy, Police Movie Satire, Friendship, Small Town Life, Puns and Wordplay, Deadpan

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty-Python-Holy-GrailMiddle Ages Humor, Superstitions, Politics, People from Other Lands, Magic, King Arthur Legend, Archeology, British

4. Megamind

Megamind-movie-image-12The Ultimate in Taking on the Superhero and Villain Tropes, Satire, Growing Up, Dating, Expectations, Friendship

5. Kung Fu Hustle

kung-fu-hustle-6Stephen Chow Does Buster Keaton and it is Amazing, Kung-Fu Humor That is Actually Funny

6. Super Troopers

2801885-supertroopersCanadian Humor, Broken Lizard at Their Best, The Group of Offbeat but Good Guys Overcome the Assholes

7. Young Frankenstein

1297635399Marty Feldman, Cloris Leachman, Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, and Mel Brooks Play with the Frankenstein Tale, Satire, Family Issues, Workplace Issues, Dealing with the Local Government, Marriage

8. Horrible Bosses

horrible _bosses01Workplace Horrors, Realities of the Current Economic Environment, What Happens When Three Guys Try to Regain Control of Their Lives and Things Do Not Go According to Plan

9. Cold Comfort Farm

Flora and SethVery British, Based on Novel of the Same Name That Made Fun of the Many “Dark and Moody” Novels Popular in the 1930s, Satire, A Balm for People Tired of Downton Abbey

10. Ghost Town

GHOST TOWNBritish, Dry, Some Romantic Comedy Elements, Anti-Social Dentist Kinda Sorta Dies and Then is Forced to Live an Actual Life

Favorite Comedy TV Shows:

1. Bob’s Burgers

Bobs-burgers-seaplaneLoren Bouchard is The Man!, Animated Family Comedy, Perfect Cast, Hilarious and Well Done Songs, Owning a Small Business, Marriage

2. Archer

maxresdefaultWorkplace Comedy First, Then Spy Comedy, Family Issues, A Sprinkling of Mad Men Moral Satire, Dating, Crazy Rich People, Politics, Sex

3. South Park

s18e03_480Still Going Strong, South Park; Puts Life into Perspective by Laughing at the Ridiculousness of it

4. Red Dwarf

Red DwarfLost in Deep Space Comedy, British, Last Man in the Known Universe and his Driven to the Brink of Madness Ship Computer, Evolved Cat, and Smeghead Hologram “Friend”

5. The Penguins of Madagascar

tumblr_m79nqsoRxX1rx0k2do1_500Technically a Children’s Show but There is More to it for Adults to Enjoy as Well, Superspy Satire Done With Penguins, Genius!

6. The Ricky Gervais Show

rickygervais04-660Animation of Podcasts with Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington; More British Humor, Clash of Minds but in a Funny Way

7. Parks and Recreation

rs_500x250-140109091101-tumblr_mxodppKVSk1syeot2o1_500Government Red Tape, Politics, Being a Female With Aspirations and Ideals, Friendship, Many Workplace Issues, Relationships, Marriage, Making Your Way Through Life

8. The Venture Brothers

GgV5zolSatire of Johnny Quest and Super Science, Family, Being a Complete Failure, Gorgeous Animation of Ridiculous and Fabulous Things, A 60s Style Cartoon With a Naughty Bite

9. Black Books

largeIrishman Who Hates People Opens a Bookshop, Dylan Moran is the Best, Alcohol, Yelling at Customers, Reading, Wanting to Stay in Your Comfortable Corner of Life and Not Be Bothered

10. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

B99.2shot.vert.A.JPGAndy Samberg Does Cop Comedy, The Captain ( Andre ) is Pure Deadpan Humor, Terry Crews is Hilarious in All That He Does, The Cast Gels and Works Off Each Other Crazy Well From the First Episode

One More Halloween Movie List: My Top 30 Favorites for the Season

The only reason I am making this when there are already so many Halloween movie lists out there, is that a number of my particular favorites have been left out in the spooky scary cold. As someone who loves Halloween and pretty much all that comes with it, I have to make that right. Plus, as someone with a blog, it feels obligatory at this time of year.

1. Young Frankenstein

The absolute top of the Halloween movie food chain, the champion of snarky perfectly timed dialog interspersed with gags. A doctor complete with his faithful Igor who just wish to figure out the very nature of life, and how to slightly tame it.

2. Cabin in the Woods 

Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard take all of the usual horror tropes, and remake them into something so much more interesting and fresh. Deceptively simple setup, same old characters yet with more aspects to them, and then the funk goes down and smashes everything all to heck. Never mess with anything in an unfamiliar basement, and always take your smart pot smoking friend with you.

3. Arsenic and Old Lace

One of my first Halloween movie loves. This movie has everything: grannies in doilies giving arsenic to anything that smacks of alone and decrepit; your brother with a new face trying to kill your fiance; watch out it’s Theodore Roosevelt, he is living upstairs and periodically charges down the bannister; and you will just love the Lorre Kitty. He has big eyes, thinks he is a doctor, and his paws either hold a flask or a scalpel at all times!

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas

A glorious fable that has never met its’ match. Corpse Bride tried, but did not even come close.

5. The Lost Boys

The Frog brothers are the ultimate in heroes. They help save the creepiest town in America from 80’s era vampires along with an awesome soundtrack.

6. Cursed

This is a Wes Craven project that is the pinnacle of werewolf movies. There are nods to classic horror films throughout, especially The Lost Boys. It blends campy, creepy, and a lot of badassness.

7. Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit

Nick Park’s Wallace and Gromit series has been a favorite with me for a long time. In 2005, the claymation characters took on a feature length adventure with a warerabbit. Cutest and most British Halloween movie ever! How can this foe be vanquished? With a bullet: a bullet made of 24 carrot gold. This is an example of one of the gems that makes me happy every time I see this movie.

8. Evil Dead Trilogy

Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi forever changed the horror genre with their Evil Dead movies. I have not seen the remake, and I do not know if I can ever bring myself to.

9. Shaun of the Dead

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost bring it with the first of their Cornetto Trilogy. Zombies in your garden? No problem for the guys with a record collection and a tool shed.

10. Sleepy Hollow

Icabod Crane was remade into a detective way ahead of his time. This movie is a mystery inside of a creepy fable inside of a love story. Christopher Walken makes the ultimate headless horseman, with scary morals, no control, and an attraction to evil women.

11. Lake Placid

There is a monster in the lake, and Betty White keeps feeding it!

12. Tremors

Yes, they are small town people, but that does not mean that prehistoric worm creatures should start eating all of them. It also does not mean that they can not defend themselves with clever folksy wisdom.

13. House (1986)

This movie is bananas. It is a nightmare gone to the campy fun yet dark side.

14. Fright Night (both versions)

I admit to only watching the remake to see David Tennant as Peter Vincent, yet was surprised about how good it was. Perfect cast, does not take itself too seriously, and is more of a tribute to the original than a shot for shot remake.

15. Poltergeist

Have the effects aged? Okay, yes, but it does not make the story any less keenly felt.

16. Red Eye 

How can I not love a movie that begins like a setup for a romantic comedy, then turns into a psychological horror thriller. Plus Brian Cox is in it.

17. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Joss Whedon wrote this film before he was the name with pull that he is today. According to him, the studio kept interfering with his vision, making it lighter and taking out dialog. If you erase Whedon speak, there is a special place in hell for you, cause that man can write. I did not know this when I saw it growing up and fell in love with it. This was my first even semi Whedon experience, and when the tv series started on WB, I was all over it. Paul Reubens’ death scene kills me:)

18. Shadow of the Vampire

Willem Dafoe as Max Schreck in Nosferatu, who is actually a real vampire, O.M.G. He suits this role incredibly well, so well that Willem might just be a vampire in real life.

19. From Dusk Till Dawn

Quentin Tarantino horror flick, very cool, with the expected body count.

20. Phantoms

Ben Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo!

21. Ghost Ship

Gabriel Byrne and a haunted evil ship with the most misleading title sequence ever. Love it.
Mike Myers and his delightful Canadian sense of humor. This is a great romantic Halloween movie with a villain that remains scary, for all the films’ light moments.

23. Fearless Vampire Killers

One of Roman Polanski’s first films was a comedic take on the Van Helsing and Dracula story. This is another one that I have grown up watching, and I admit it is a bit off kilter and very sixties in the best way.

24. Practical Magic

The witch movie done right. Dashes of romance, tragedy, and midnight margaritas that never veers into soap opera territory.

25. The Watch

Richard Ayoade is the lead, in my opinion, of this ensemble sci-fi horror comedy. Okay, this is only slightly technically a horror film, but I am still counting it. The critics apparently did not see what I did about this movie, because they panned it. Boooo!

26. The Faculty

Robert Rodriguez does horror again the year after From Dusk Till Dawn. This one is set in a high school where Jon Stewart is the science teacher. Really, the film is worth watching just to see Stewart sporting a goatee and being evil.

27. The 13th Warrior

Why hello, Viking horror movie with an Omar Sharif appearance. Why yes, thank you, I will watch the heck out of that.

28. Constantine

Considering that Keanu Reeves seems maybe not the right choice for the blond British punk Constantine of the Hellblazer comics, the movie turned out damn well. Gavin Rossdale does so well as a demon, who knew? Glycerine!

29. Scream

My first Wes Craven now has recognition as a classic. This is one that deserved the hype and popularity, to the point of mania, it received.

30. Pitch Black 

This is basically the Mad Max of sci-fi horror from Australian cinema.