Quick Draw – Season Two, Episode One : Wedding Bells

The adventures of the ever shrinking and sometimes nauseating facial hair:

Sheriff John Henry Hoyle starts the second season of Quick Draw with an absolutely enormous and wild west mustache that is whittled down as the episode goes on.

  • Yosemite Sam Mustache
  • Hitler Mustache
  • Hoyle gets back to his clean shaved self
Lavina gets widowed for the third time, just as Hoyle has finished officiating the ceremony. He really draws out the vows, and he feels that it is his duty to make sure the participants fully understand the potential pitfalls of marriage before finally binding them til death do they part. Cole Younger has become the bane of everyone in the town by this time, and killing the groom extinguishes the last of their patience.

Honey is in the process of comforting Lavina when Hoyle has the brilliant idea of proposing to her. This does not go over well, even though there is no proposal to Honey that is going to end with her marring the sheriff.

Sheriff Hoyle tells Vernon Shank that he is playing the long game, “like water torture”, she will either marry him or slowly go insane. Shank gets deputized again when Eli gets ransomed by the Younger gang. As the two go off on their rescuing shenanigans, the girls decide to have a ladies night to cheer everyone up a bit.

Ladies Night at the bar ( One of my favorite scenes of the show so far ) :

Pearl is worried about Eli, and Honey realizes that she has developed feelings for him. She proceeds to give Pearl some advice, namely that it is all well and good to bed a man, but you really do not want to love a man. Wanda gets slightly plastered and talks about loving her dog, which she apparently does often. She observes that Honey feels the same about Hoyle as Wanda does for her dog. There is affection there, however Honey disagrees with the love part.

The ladies move on to discuss the best way to get rid of feelings. Wanda leans towards Whiskey as her go to crusher of emotions. However, if the feelings get really out of hand, there is always taking a bullet to the brain. Wanda tells the group that this happened to her cousin Jane, who is a perfectly classy lady with no emotions. As they move on to the shortness of life, and how soooo many of the men they have counted on have died, Pearl rushes out to save Eli.

Meanwhile, Hoyle and Vernon are getting closer to the ransom location. Hoyle describes an inappropriate snow dream he had the night before, and then is attacked by a black bear as he shaves his Yosemite Sam into a Hitler. The fight scene is pretty adorable. After Vernon actually saves Hoyle, he reacts badly to his Hitler mustache.

When the guys find Eli, it is a fairly obvious bait situation. Vernon saves the day again, having brought dynamite. What follows is a slow moving fight scene with dynamite to a hanging tree song. I really love this show:) As they look cool and whirl around explosions, Pearl comes up on her horse and shoots Eli free. This becomes a romantic moment where Eli proposes to her, and she accepts.

Back in town, Hoyle officiates Pearl and Eli’s wedding. “Do you throw away your youth, and future with any other man, including any friends of mine?” Vernon objects to the proceedings, “I implore you to hold my piece, I have a big heart on for this woman. Come on! One Step! Head Nod! Come here. Congratulations. Sorry.” After Pearl decides to keep on marrying Eli, Hoyle declares them man and wife.

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